Monday, October 21, 2013

enough is enough...and i've had it


To this, I offer up:

I don’t know if I embedded this correctly, because I don’t know how to embed things. But what I do know, what I am familiar with, is missing the Capstone requirements because I spent the entire hour debating about whether or not I could eat another slice of pizza, whether I was worthy of another slice of pizza…whether I was lovable, if I were to eat another slice of pizza. 

Enough of this. For our gender, for our girls, and most importantly, for ourselves. It is the moment we look at our bodies in the mirror and tell ourselves that WE LOVE YOU, every inch of you, that not ONE part of you needs to be fixed, or smaller, or smoother, to be worthy of our own love – it is the moment that WE ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT, that we start on the road to recovery.

I love myself. I told myself that in the bathroom mirror last night. No joke. Out loud, naked, looking myself right in the eyes, and I started to cry. I cried for my years of struggle, my recovery, my daughter, the women I know, and I cried for my parents, who tried so hard to let me know they loved me unconditionally, but still managed to have a hand in this. 

To your Anger, Glennon, I say this: Anger is not “okay” because it is justified in this scenario. Feelings ARE what they ARE. Anger IS Anger. And if you are Angry, and rightfully so, the feeling is already there. It exists. It cannot be made “okay” or justified, nor does it need to be justified in the slightest bit. You do not have to explain to me, to your readers, to yourself, why you are angry. But you DO have to FEEL it, RELISH in it, let it FUEL you towards a better solution, as a motivator to heal yourself, to make a difference, to continue your God-given work on this Earth of LOVING and ACCEPTING and MAKING A DIFFERENCE for all of those who are open to the signs. Because that, my love, is what you have done for me and countless others. You have brought us in touch with ourselves, and the parts of ourselves that are not only broken, but beautiful and sometimes mended, sometimes not, as a means to really connect and TOUCH other human beings in their struggle. You inspire those of us aware enough to pick up these pieces and use them, offer them up to someone in need as a token of understanding, empathy and compassion. 

Thank you in spades for that. I continue to learn and grow each and everyday thanks to you and others like you. I hope that is of value to someone, but I already know it has been invaluable to me.